Burglary Can Leave Emotional Scars : Anger, Fear May Be More Damaging Than Material Loss

SAFE AT HOME: Local Crime Prevention Efforts

Part Three of a Three-Part Series

While Carol Willis enjoyed a vacation at her parents’ house, burglars ransacked her Orange County apartment and took everything of value.

“When I discovered what happened, I was horrified,” said the marketing executive. “Before that, burglaries were just statistics I heard on TV. I never dreamed it could happen to me.”

The Shock of Being Burglarized

Willis’ reaction is common, said Lt. Ross Moen of the West Los Angeles detective division. Despite the 186,000 burglaries reported in Los Angeles, Orange, and San Bernardino counties in 1992, many people never expect it to happen to them. “They are usually very shocked that their safe haven has been invaded,” Moen said.

Emotional Impact Beyond the Loss

For many, the emotional toll of a burglary is worse than the material loss:

  • Violation of privacy: “Your private space has been invaded,” said psychologist Mory Framer of Barrington Psychiatric Center.
  • Loss of safety: “Security has been breached, and people feel violated,” Framer said.
  • Personal intrusion: “People see their home as an extension of themselves,” added Dr. Louis West of UCLA.
  • Gender impact: Women may feel the emotional violation more acutely due to deeper psychological connections to their home environment.

Common Reactions to a Burglary

Emotional responses vary but often include:

  • Helplessness: “You may think no one cares when the police have no leads,” Framer said.
  • Anger: Directed at the thief, the police, society, and oneself.
  • Loss of irreplaceable items: Items with sentimental value, such as jewelry or family heirlooms, can be especially painful to lose.
  • Fear and anxiety: Many victims struggle with sleep and feel unsafe at home.

A Personal Story: Multiple Break-ins

Carol Willis experienced three more burglaries after her initial one. “It was the later break-ins that really hurt because they took jewelry with sentimental value,” she said. She now keeps all valuables in a safe deposit box.

Fear and Long-Term Effects

“It’s very frightening to have your sense of security breached,” Framer said. Victims may:

  • Feel unsafe
  • Have trouble sleeping
  • Remain hyper-vigilant for months

“You’ve been intruded upon, and it’s OK to feel badly,” Framer emphasized.

What to Do After a Burglary

  • Don’t make drastic decisions: Avoid moving immediately—give it time.
  • Take preventive action: Educate yourself and get involved in community safety efforts.
  • Contact local police: Invite them to speak about burglary prevention.
  • Join or start a Neighborhood Watch: This builds community support and reduces crime.
  • Don’t overreact: Taking precautions is empowering, but don’t isolate yourself or live in fear.

Realities of Crime

Even when precautions are taken, burglaries can happen again. “There is no absolute immunity,” Framer warned. Willis moved to a better neighborhood, but was burglarized again. “I thought I’d done everything right, but it kept happening,” she said.

When to Seek Professional Help

Amy Stark, a Santa Ana psychologist, suggests getting help if you answer “yes” to two or more of these questions:

  • Do you have chronic insomnia?
  • Have you lost your appetite?
  • Is it hard to perform daily functions?
  • Are you frequently agitated or anxious?
  • Do you have recurring nightmares?
  • Are you using alcohol or drugs for comfort?
  • Are you too frightened to leave the house?

When Your Neighbors Are Burglarized

Mory Framer says it’s normal to feel relief that it wasn’t you. But don’t distance yourself—support your neighbor instead:

  • Stay connected: Avoid isolating your neighbor or blaming them.
  • Offer help: Clean up, bring food, or offer emotional support.
  • Don’t minimize: Acknowledge their emotional pain.
  • Take action: Work together to improve neighborhood security.

Explaining a Break-In to Your Children

Helping children process a burglary requires sensitivity:

  • Let them ask questions: Repetition is part of how they process trauma.
  • Reinforce safety: Show them new locks or alarm systems and explain how they work.
  • Expect sleep issues: Sleeping in your bed for a few nights is okay.
  • Manage your emotions: Talk to another adult about your fears—not your children.
  • Set an example: Children recover more easily when they see you coping well.

Since her marriage seven years ago, Willis hasn’t been burglarized again. But the fear remains. “Every time I lock up, I think about it,” she says.

Julie Bawden-Davis

Julie Bawden-Davis is a bestselling journalist, novelist, blogger, and YouTuber. A prolific author, Julie writes in several genres. She enjoys creating page-turning suspense served up with a dose of romance, garden books that turn any brown thumb green, and spiritual books meant to enlighten and inspire. Widely published, Julie has written 45 books and more than 4,000 articles for a wide variety of national and international publications. She lives in Southern California, where she enjoys sunny, blue skies most days and year-round gardening. Julie gains inspiration from being surrounded by plants when she writes.